And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
