So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
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Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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