Ambien. No doubt about it.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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