after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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