Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize