I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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