I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
