That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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