The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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