He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
