Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
