wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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