i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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