he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
