Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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