we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize