Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
