nut hugger
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
