I'm eating all of the evidence.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
