just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
