"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize