he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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