guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm too high and old for this...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
