i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
