So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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