Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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