Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
