I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize