Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
