i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
