I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
