Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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