In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
