i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
