Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize