How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
