I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
