but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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