I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
