somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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