got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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