So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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