She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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