im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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