My friends, they love my intelligence
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize