Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
