so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
