i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize