If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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