I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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