so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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