PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
