I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
