Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
