I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
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I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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